"Dammit I'm Mad" by Demetri Martin
This is a 224 word palindrome written by Demetri Martin:
"Dammit I'm Mad" by Demetri MartinDammit I'm mad.
Evil is a deed as I live.
God, am I reviled? I rise, my bed on a sun, I melt.
To be not one man emanating is sad. I piss.
Alas, it is so late. Who stops to help?
Man, it is hot. I'm in it. I tell.
I am not a devil. I level "Mad Dog".
Ah, say burning is, as a deified gulp,
In my halo of a mired rum tin.
I erase many men. Oh, to be man, a sin.
Is evil in a clam? In a trap?
No. It is open. On it I was stuck.
Rats peed on hope. Elsewhere dips a web.
Be still if I fill its ebb.
Ew, a spider... eh?
We sleep. Oh no!
Deep, stark cuts saw it in one position.
Part animal, can I live? Sin is a name.
Both, one... my names are in it.
Murder? I'm a fool.
A hymn I plug, deified as a sign in ruby ash,
A Goddam level I lived at.
On mail let it in. I'm it.
Oh, sit in ample hot spots. Oh wet!
A loss it is alas (sip). I'd assign it a name.
Name not one bottle minus an ode by me:
"Sir, I deliver. I'm a dog"
Evil is a deed as I live.
Dammit I'm mad.
It's not entirely coherent, but impressive nonetheless.
Fundies: The underwear built for two
And all this time you've just been wearing underwear built for one.
Plastic Surgery Confidential
Vanitry Fair explores the world of plastic surgery, sending an attractive woman undercover to see what plastic surgeons would "fix" about her.
Cosmetic surgery is now so popular that even young, healthy, attractive women are choosing to be "enhanced." In a quest for insight into this $13 billion industry, the author--a five-foot-nine, 120-pound 27-year-old--went undercover, asking three plastic surgeons what they'd do to her nose, her breasts, and her, uh, "banana rolls." The answers were as different as the doctors themselves.
Meet the blue-eyed alligator who stands out like a sore thumb
With his piercing blue eyes and pale skin this rare alligator stands out like a sore thumb. Weighing over 500 pounds, Bouya Blan is one of only 12 white alligators in the world. The 22-year-old, whose name means white fog, lives along with three other giant leucistic alligators at the world famous Gatorland theme park in Florida.
50% of the charges against Pirate Bay have been dropped
There has been high drama on the second day of the Pirate Bay trial. Due to serious shortcomings in the prosecution evidence, around 50% of the charges in the case are going to have to be withdrawn. The defense describes it as a 'sensation', seeing half of the charges being dropped on the second day.
What has been shown in court today is that the prosecutor cannot prove that the .torrent files he is using as evidence actually used The Pirate Bay's tracker. Many of the screenshots being used clearly state there is no connection to the tracker. Additionally, prosecutor Håkan Roswall didn't adequately explain the function of DHT which allows for so called "trackerless" torrents.
Meet 'Moot,' the secretive internet celeb who still lives with his mom
Moot -- and please lowercase the "m" -- is the mysterious founder of 4chan.org, one of the weirdest, vast-est, most disgusting-est sites online. It's a sprawling web of message boards on which users post images of everything from their favorite actors to their favorite bowel movements.
Moot, the most influential and famous Internet celebrity you've never heard of, isn't on a panel or presenting anything, but he appears on the program nonetheless: "Pass out when you see moot IRL"-- that's In Real Life, noobs -- is the activity listed to take place somewhere between the "Causing a Scene" presentation and "The Future of Online Video" panel.
Over in the corner, a serious-looking 21-year-old wearing a gray hoodie and a mop of curly hair chats with friends about his two kittens and the night's dinner plans and how, after dinner, and after the after-party, he'll be going home to his mom's house in a nearby suburb.
This is moot.
His real name is Christopher Poole.
How to make a VHS video toaster
The project was simple: convert a VHS video machine to make toast, and eject it through the cassette slot.
Mike Polk has the worst TV reel ever
Mike Polk, inarguably, has made the least impressive appearances on television in the history of the medium.
Dad interrupts soccer skill showoff
His son wanted to show his soccer skills but his dad had something else to do.
Nate Silver predicts the winners of the 2009 Oscars
After spending most of 2008 predicting the success of political actors--also called politicians--it's only natural that Nate Silver (FiveThirtyEight.com) would turn his attention to the genuine article: the nominees in the major categories for the 81st Annual Academy Awards (Feb. 22 at 8 p.m. on ABC). Formally speaking, this required the use of statistical software and a process called logistic regression. Informally, it involved building a huge database of the past 30 years of Oscar history. Categories included genre, MPAA classification, the release date, opening-weekend box office (adjusted for inflation), and whether the film won any other awards. We also looked at whether being nominated in one category predicts success in another. For example, is someone more likely to win Best Actress if her film has also been nominated for Best Picture? (Yes!) But the greatest predictor (80 percent of what you need to know) is other awards earned that year, particularly from peers (the Directors Guild Awards, for instance, reliably foretells Best Picture). Genre matters a lot (the Academy has an aversion to comedy); MPAA and release date don't at all. A film's average user rating on IMDb (the Internet Movie Database) is sometimes a predictor of success; box grosses rarely are. And, as in Washington, politics matter, in ways foreseeable and not.
Driver plows car through a house
After driving her speeding car through a Kapolei home, an allegedly drunken 19-year-old woman pleaded with the homeowner, "Don't tell my mother," neighbors said.
A fake countess jailed for five years for conning victims out of their life savings has been ordered to pay back £850,000 by a London court
Elda Beguinua's wealth was supposedly so vast its value could only be described in court as "300 followed by 41 zeros", Southwark Crown Court heard. In case you can't visualize that, it's this: $30, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000
Photographer Jesse Chan-Norris caught the aftermath of an attempted murder in Manhattan this morning
At 5:40am I was jolted out of sleep by a noise. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. I raced outside, I looked down, I saw the black car with its door open. I saw another car next to it. I saw the body in the middle of the street. I stood. I gawked. I went back inside. I put on clothes. I heard the sirens. I went back outside. I gawked. I went back inside. I got my camera. I went back outside. I took some photos. I went back inside. I went back outside. I watched the EMTs put the body on the stretcher. I went back inside. I heard the ambulances leave. I went back outside. The street was quiet except for two police cars, their lights on in the middle of the street.
I went back inside.
The Pirate Bay Trial - First Day in Court
This morning the trial of The Pirate Bay started. Without doubt, it will be the most important case the file-sharing community has ever witnessed. Here are the key parts of Day 1, distilled from the hundreds of ongoing reports.